There...In the Dark

Dear Max,

Today I want to talk to you about Darkness and that state of being that they often called, "being in the dark".

When you grow up, you will realize that no matter how good you are, no matter how righteous your actions are, there will come a time that dark clouds shall cover you. Trials, betrayals, lies, horrible things that others might do to you which might result to sadness, loneliness and misery...these are dark clouds. Maybe, its not your fault, maybe someone else has created that dark cloud for you but one day you will find yourself in that situation so before that time comes I want you to remember,

1. Darkness will come...as sure as night comes after the day. Expect it so you can prepare for it. Get to know who you are and love yourself so when darkness comes you will know what to do based on who you know you are. In this way, you can approach darkness with confidence knowing full well that you are strong enough to overcome it. 

People can do bad things to you, but it won't say anything about who you are. The things that they do are reflections of what's inside them...it doesn't say anything about what's inside of you. 

So before darkness comes, nurture what's inside. Get to know the beautiful person that resides inside of you, find those things that will touch your heart, those activities that will warm your soul. Be comfortable with solitude, it is your friend because it is only through silence and "aloneness" shall you realize that you are never alone, that you are connected to Someone much bigger than yourself and you can reconnect anytime you want. In the "busyness" of the world, in the midst of people who are trying to accomplish lots of things, find time to stop and be silent just so you can remember why you are here, just so you can remember your purpose, just so you can make the right choices not only when things are going well but most especially when things are falling apart.

2. When darkness does come know that, being in the dark is exactly that moment in your life that you can shine the most. It is that moment when you are given the greatest opportunity to show the world who you are, of what you are made of. Do not be afraid. All you ever have to do is to reach inside you and find that place where the Light resides...know in your heart that It's there because the truth is, each of us carries within us the spark of God. 

3. Forgive those who put you in the dark...and forgive yourself for allowing them to do that. I know its hard, believe me its the hardest thing that you will ever have to do. But do it anyway, for yourself, to regain your power, to regain peace. Someday, you will come to a point when you can look at those people who hurt you and instead of feeling anger and hatred you will feel sorry for them...sorry because you will understand that they must be feeling so lonely and so afraid...because no happy person can ever hurt another. So, make it a point to find those things, those activities that will make you happy and do them often, in this way, you can help heal the world of its loneliness.

4. If you can avoid the people who's putting you in the dark, avoid them, let go of them, you are better off without them. But if you can't get them out of your life, pray very hard, pray that you will have the strength to take it one day at a time...or as what I always say, one breath at a time. Pray that your light be strong enough...and your love hard enough so you won't be overcome by darkness...

5. Please never never use this situation as an excuse to succumb to darkness, as an excuse to hurt more people, as an excuse to be weak, as an excuse to be vengeful. There is no excuse in doing wrong especially when you know what's right. You can never right a wrong by doing another wrong. That's stupid, that's crazy. If you think that you will be happy when you cause another person pain, you are mistaken. Your soul knows when you are hurting another innocent soul, and that's a sure way to lose grace...to lose peace. Remember, heaven and hell is not only a place that you go to at the end of your life, it is a "state of being"...and hell is when you are not in a state of grace, when you are not at peace. Do not put yourself in hell while living on earth, do something about it while you can...be brave and walk out of it.

6. It is your responsibility to yourself and to the world to make yourself happy. Find those things that will make you happy and pursue them. If you can't find beauty in the world, create beauty, create goodness, create happiness. You have all the tools to create them, so go ahead and do it. Do not depend your happiness on one person coz that's a sure way to be so lonely. Please do not allow yourself to be lonely coz that's a sure way to be destructive. 

Do not be afraid to lose the things/people that you think are making you happy...coz you can never lose something that is truly yours. If you lose them, maybe, they were never yours in the first place. Always remember that you can never own something/someone which has free will. Let them choose their own path and be happy for them even if it means seeing them walking away from you.

Do not contribute to the loneliness that grips the world. Do not participate in the negativity, helplessness and drama that people propagate through social  media. You are better than that. You have the power to change your situation and you can tap that power anytime. You are NOT helpless, Angels are real and they walk around the earth spreading joy and peace and happiness, find them, allow them to touch you, to change you. Or better yet, be the Angel that will walk the world, touching people's lives, spreading happiness and joy, reminding people who they are.

Lastly, I want you to remember to live consciously, to live purposefully. Stand up for something, fight for something important and meaningful. Be brave. Your heart is full of love, and as what our Korean priest used to say, our heart is like a well, if you continue to give love, it will oveflow with love. But the moment that you stop giving love away,  it will dry up. Don't let it dry up. Give love away...it might be a dog or a pet or the abandoned babies in the orphange or the sick kids in the hospital or the plants in your garden...love, love, love...even if they can't love you back. Give out of the fullness of your heart.

When you get hurt because of love, do not lose faith, remember that you are capable of pure and unconditional love...so its REAL. Someday, you will find the right person who has the same quality of love, who will vibrate just as strongly as your soul vibrates, it doesn't matter when, it won't matter how because love transcends time and space...believe that, know that.

I always love you, you know that, right?

~Mom

       

                                 

P.S. Sometimes, I write to you to also remind myself...

Random Thoughts

 Dear Max,

Today I want to teach you something important. Actually, I dont know where to begin, there's just so many things thats going through my mind so I'll just say whatever comes first.

So let's begin with INTEGRITY. Integrity is doing the right thing even when nobody's looking. Its so easy to do what's right...when you're being watched, when someone's guiding you but when you are on your own, its a totally different story. There will always be two voices inside your head, so which are you going to choose? 

They say that there are no good or bad, right or wrong. There's just ACTION and there's just CONSEQUENCE equal to that action. But if you want to live a life of peace and happiness, a life filled with love and joy choose "good" actions that will bring "good" consequences.

Choose what's right even when it hurts...even when its difficult. Choose what's good even if the reward of the "bad" outweighs the good. Why? Because there is a law in the Universe..."In every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." Some will tell you that its the law of Physics, some will say that its the Law of Karma but whatever it is, the truth is, there is a Force that balances everything.

In simple words, whatever you give out will come back to you. Whatever you sow, you shall reap. So sow goodness and compassion. Sow love and understanding. Sow kindness and tolerance. Sow honesty and fairness. In this way, you will cushion yourself from all the "badness" and the "wrongness" of the world. 

I'm not saying that you won't feel any difficulties if you're good, I won't say that you won't be betrayed or rejected coz you probably would but rest assured that when it happens, Angels will come your way to help you and heal you. Know that, believe that coz its true.

Sometimes you're going to make mistakes. You're going to to choose what is "wrong" because sometimes, its not always clear which is wrong and which is right. Its not always black and white. There are other shades of gray too. But sooner or later you will know if you're on the right track. Asking yourself these questions might help, Are you at peace? Are you happy? Are the people you love happy? Is your conscience clear? When you face God right now, can you honestly tell Him that you've been a faithful child? If you answered "NO" to these things please back off, analyze what you've been doing and make the necessary corrections. Say sorry, pray for the people you've hurt, change your ways, learn and move on.

It's ok to make mistakes, for as long as you learn from it, for as long as you don't deliberately do it. My father once told me, "When you know what is right, there's no excuse in choosing what is wrong." When he told me that, he was teaching me to be responsible over my own actions. There's no sense in knowing something and not practicing what you know. Wisdom is a great responsibility because you have to prove it in your actions. But yes, believe me I know that its easier said than done especially when emotions are involved. So, pray, that God enlightens you, that God guides you.

At the end of the day, we all want to be happy. And yes, you have all the right to pursue whatever brings you your bliss...just make sure that you're not hurting other people in the process. If you could help others to be happy, well and good, but if you can't, just try NOT to be the cause of their unhappiness. Because sooner or later the consequences of your actions will come back to haunt you or help you. The difference will depend on your actions.

Choose wisely.

I love you so much.

Love,

Mommy

Valentine's Day

Dear Max,

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I never celebrated it before, maybe because I thought Valentines is for those couples who usually fall to the marketing strategies of flower shops, candy shops, hotels and the likes. 

V-Day has become synanimous to "lovers" or "couples" which leaves single people somewhat alienated. Imagine a day wherein most of the women in relationships would be going around the metro, walking with flowers or chocolates or bears in one hand and bf/husband/lover in the other, dining out, having the time of their lives, making the most out of this one day of "love". And imagine you're single, and no date, and you have to avoid the traffic, the long ques on restaurants and shops just because someone declared that this day is for couples. Arrggghhh! But bitterness aside, I have to admit that Valentine's day has a deeper meaning, a nobler purpose.

        

Valentine's day is a day to celebrate LOVE in its purest form. This is the day to remember the people who touched your heart, who showed you kindness, who inspired you to become a better person. This is the day to celebrate that feeling of tenderness...like when I first saw you smile, or when I first heard your heartbeat or when I first kissed your cheek. This is the day to remember those lost "loves" that changed you but still is making you smile...the memories of those loves that changed and moved on.

   

This is the day to remember that LOVE is true ( people may lie and betray you but LOVE in its purest form will always be true)...no matter how you may be feeling right now. This is the day to rekindle that hope...that dream of a better tomorrow.

And as a gentleman, you have responsibilities to uphold, traditions to follow and rituals to do. Traditions are great because it connects you to your roots, it somehow gives you a sense of identity. Rituals make each day different from all the others. It creates memories and makes waiting for a certain day exciting and fun. So when you grow up, I expect you to...

1. Celebrate Life. Celebrate Love. There are only few occassions that you need to prepare for...so please, PREPARE. Make it special, make it memorable. Use your imagination, create something different each time, PLAN, do not procrastinate, LEAD, INITIATE...then, execute well.

                                 

2. Valentine's Day is a day to appreciate those people that you love. When you get married, its very important NOT to forget your wife. ( Coz who else will ever remember her but you?) You really dont have to spend so much, writing love letters is one of the cheapest yet one of the most romantic way to show your love. Love your wife the way she wanted to be loved. But most importantly, the best gift that you could ever give to anyone is your time, coz its like giving a part of your life. Use your time wisely, prioritize who gets to have it. If you're not willing to give time to the most important people in your life...then, maybe, they're not really important.

3. Valentines is not only for your intimate love, but also for those people who are important to you , grandparents, parents, cousins, friends who are single ( and maybe lonelier during this time) and all the other people who touched your life in a special way. Plan something for them. They will love you more for it.

                         

4. Lastly, love yourself. Be grateful for all the love in your heart. Thank God for the light in your eyes, the joy in your heart, the peace in your life and the lightness of your soul. Appreciate it, coz not all people have it. And yes love...like you've never been hurt before, trust like you've never been deceived, hope like you've never been disappointed and live like this day is your last.

I love you.

~Mom